We're all on the Lido deck

Every time my father introduces me to a new girlfriend I want to pull her aside and tell her she's dancing on the Lido deck of the Titanic and I'm the only one who sees the iceberg. What's stopped me from doing that with the last few was the thought that they may take care of him when he's old and sick. I liked that idea. Well  guess what, word's gotten out and they all DO want to take care of him, the calls, cards and letters are non stop. My father can be described in two words; Bill Clinton. He's magnetic, charming and isn't happy if he's not picking up some woman who looks like Linda Evans.  My father won't see them, he sends me to meet them for coffee to return whatever they have sent and remind them he's with Doris.  It seems his last girlfriend will be Doris. My father is 100% Italian but has always loved waspy blonds. Come to think of it I have mostly steered clear of Italian men…. Anyway, Doris is the queen of Wasp, she's from England. She's rich, rich, rich and brings five changes of clothing for any overnight. When she told me her only hobby is shopping I figured there was no common ground for us. For once I was wrong, I love Doris, she's funny, smart and real.  Doris won't drive on the highway so I chaperone many of their dates these days. She takes beautiful care of my father every weekend. Now we all see the iceberg.