I Heard the Native Drums in Borneo

....and then Jamie Oliver stepped out of the jungle. No kidding, he was a guest at the hotel I was at.
I paid 50 Ringit ($.20) to use this bathroom so I am going to step on the toilet if I want to. I should have taken a photo of the toilet and the hose running into it.
Don't get me wrong, Borneo isn't all overgrown, monkey infested jungle. I had a spa day at our hotel where I had my own cabana, a volcanic mud wrap, I bathed in coconut milk strewn with orchids and had a facial and massage. Maybe that's what Amelia Earhart has been doing all these years.
It is so humid in Borneo I couldn't take too many photos, my lens kept fogging up. I would have to convert to Islam just so I could keep my hair covered every time I left the house. Do you think that last statement will bring a fatwa down on me?